|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| Packing isn't it's all cracked up to be.
So when I moved into the Anna house I moved twelve boxes, my bed, my desk, two shelving units, a coffee table, a end table, two bar stools, a chair, a lamp, and a small tv/dvd player. I didn't think I had accumulated that much more stuff. And I suppose I haven't, really, aside from books and clothing. But nothing is fitting the way it did before.
Uh.
I'm just moody.
My music player is usually very good to me. He treats me well - he goes on plentiful bursts of awesome music - or at least music that follows my mood. Not today. Today he's picking a fight with me, and winning.
I'm caught in my past, lately. And I'm so confused I never know what time it is. I barely keep track of the days, and I have no concept of how fast this is all happening.
I spent so long feeling lost and alone, and forgotten. And now, I feel like I have a place. A home, a niche. People who love and care for me - and I've found it just weeks before I move myself, and have to start the process all over. I have friends in Lansing, its true - But I know I will never find the kind of friends I have right here. And I am voluntarily moving myself away from them. And it hurts. But this is a challenge I must take on, and defeat.
I have also never been so aware of who I am and what I am. What I do, and how I do it. I am no longer unclear as to how people see me. And I'm glad with I've discovered.
Anyway. I wish more people spoke their minds, and said what they really meant - but I'm willing to put some patience into this. I will wait out the storm. And I will rise again.
| | |
| I am not a poster child. Please stop acting like I am. Just because I identify with a group of people does not mean I AM that group of people. It does not mean I like every single thing that might be connected to that group.
I am not your lackey. I will only cover your ass so much. Stop banking on my generosity - it's running out.
I'm happy for you. Really, I am. I still feel a little weird about it all, but you two make sense. I'm glad you found someone who fits you better.
I really wish that you weren't so useful. I really truly, in every way, dislike you. Hate, even. But in the last year you've been pretty good to me, and bailed me out of some really shitty situations. While that doesn't make up for all of these years, I'm still thankful.
I feel like you're the last real connection I have, but it's still from a distance. I don't know what it is. Is it really that rift? Did we really never mend that? I felt like we had, for awhile. But I suppose it's impossible to mend something thats constantly being re-opened. I can't, and don't wish to, tell you what to do. But I wish you could open your eyes. Maybe you see something I don't, and I hope thats the case. But I worry about you, and I just do not see this working out in your favor.
I want you to come back.
I hate that you still have a sway over my life. Next year will be interesting, to say the least.
You have a huge mouth. Shut it. Seriously.
Stop pretending to know me. Do not act surprised when I don't follow your predictions. All you know is what I show you - which is very little. You will never get to know me the way you think you do. Ever. So please, just take a step back and think before you assume next time.
| | |
| So if your name is Anna, or Anny, Lauren, Gynelle, Marissa, or Jessica - I miss you a lot.
| | |
| My hair has changed... again.
Its what my friend refers to as "Fire Hair" - Its also a half shave again. I can't express how... me I feel.
| | |
| Yesterday was pretty awesome, I'm not gonna lie.
I like making new friends. And realizing new friendships are gonna stick. Its a nice feeling.
But I need to stop this sleeping in until 4 or so business. Absolutely no good.
| | |
|
